So before I begin, I`d just like to preface this post by saying I`ve accidentally turned on the `Verr Maj` on my laptop, and it`s completely effing with my typeface...and also making me laugh hysterically.
http:ééé.glutenfreegratitude.blogspot.comé
It makes my URL sound so cultured!
HELLLLOOO SPORTS FANS!
Do not think that a brief blogging absence means I have forsaken this public journal and, more importantly, my project. I have been busy focussing on the very many tasks at hand, especially after realizing that I have less than 11 months now to accomplish 68 tasks, all requiring a varying amount of time, effort, and often, money. However, I`m not stressing over it. I`ve had such a truly brilliant week, chalk-full of realizations. As I type this now, my mind is bustling and my heart is racing with positivity and excitement. I don`t know how to begin in explaining this week of epiphanies, so I`ll start at the very beginning (I hear it`s a very good place to start).
If you scroll down a little bit, you`ll check out my homemade attempt at a VLOG, in which I explained how important it is to let people you know how you feel about them. This doesn`t necessarily have to be in a romantic sense -all good strong social bonds leave you twitter-patedl! Although I experienced some joy in filming said first vlog, the feeling was fleeting as I watched it over. And over. And over. Something just wasn`t right. Despite the good intention behind it, I felt I made a huge misstep.
It was hypocritical to take to a webcam and ask others to be brave when I couldn`t be. There was - and is - much in my life I have to be grateful for, particularly the relationships I have. I rarely let people know how important and influential they are to me, possibly out of a fear that they`ll think I`m even goofier than I actually am. But that`s no excuse. You can`t live a life that`s defined by the perceptions of others - that`s no life at all.
So I took a good, long hard look at my list. As previously mentioned, I`m revising a few numbers that I feel no longer would provide any merit in accomplishing. I decided to cross out a task that provides no challenge or inspiration (I won`t mention it here as it`s too embarassing for words) and replace it with this:
number 69: HONESTY BLITZ WEEKEND
What, the wild deuce, is an honesty blitz ? (Can I just say I literally had to copy and paste that question mark from a free online Unicode character map. DAMN YOU, VERR. MAJ.!) An honesty blitz was, for me, a free pass to let the people I know and love (or sometimes, just know) realize that they were great. It was an opportunity for me to blurt out sincere compliments and anecdotes, without fearing my friends would think I was crazy, insincere, or inebriated. Whether I said it in person, on the phone, through a text message, or on Facebook, I knew I needed to let people know. Time is fleeting and you`ll never know the next time you`ll have to connect with any given friend. I called it my ``Honesty Week of Awesomeness!`` as I a) decided to expand it to a week and b) wanted to be solely positive. . Now was not the time for confrontation. Yes for ``I just want you to know that I cherish our friendship and think you`re brilliant!`` No to `Remember that time in Grade. 5 you threw your apple at me during Social Science? No? Well, I still hope your arms fall off and you get eaten by a dragon.``
Some moments of honesty were easy. Some were difficult. Some I haven`t yet completed. However, I noticed something truly fascinating: being sincere and telling someone that they``re awesome feels awesome. Now, perhaps that was the most basic statement ever typed. But if it was and being honest with people is so great, why was I waiting just now to tell important people they`re important? In doing so, I felt like my relationships became stronger because people suddenly knew how much they meant to me. While compliments on a base level are always fun to receive, it`s the feeling of knowing you belong and make an impact on someone`s life that carries more weight. So I let myself gush, and amongst many: I told childhood friends they were great because anyone who has enough patience to befriend me for over 2 decades is really great; I told my mom I loved her because I don`t tell her nearly enough; I told a cute boy he was cute, a former boyfriend he was fantastic, and a great guy that I like...well, I told him what I had to tell him.
And after every word was said or typed, I felt an immediate high that hasn`t yet left. In fact, I`ve been smiling inexplicably all week despite the chilly weather, sleep deprivation, slacking off on my health and diet, etc. etc. I`ve been too busy feeling genuinely happy.
Now, this task isn`t over. Far from it. Its importance on my list is actually motivated by something that has completely inspired me.
While at Chapters, searching for books that would help me tackle my number 71, a delightfully baby blue book caught my eye as I passed the Self-Help section. I`m now mid-way through Gretchen Rubin`s `The Happiness Project`and I adore it. The fact that I`m enjoying it is somewhat shocking to me; I`m sometimes so skeptical of self-improvement, I write plays about it.
I figured that since I`m already immersed in a self-improvement project, there`d be no harm in purchasing in the book . And it`s amazing! The author chronicles a year in which she, quite scientifically, analyzes and puts into practice things that are believed to be the essence of happiness. Whether they relate to her career, marriage, friendship, spirituality or simply to her sense of play, she derives a gameplan to tackle each month with specific, hopefully-enlightening resolutions. Some fail grandly, but for the most part, she succeeds in her quest to find happiness.
There are some fundamental truths found in this book about happiness and self-awareness that really resonate with me. As I read it, I find that I`m viewing my list (and on a grander scale, my life) with a renewed sense of energy and love. The fact that I just happened to come across the chapter on friendships and letting important people know they`re important after I was determined on my honesty blitz weekend proved that I was on the right path with my list revisions.
So in keeping with the spirit of the book and my own 101 list, I`ve decided to tune out - number 39: no TV for a week - to tune in - to my list, to my perspective, and to my own Tenants of Happiness.
To the left, you`ll see a new list. It`ll work alongside my already existing challenge list. Having it on my bedroom door and seeing it as I leave my room every day is a reminder of what the entire point of my `101 Things to Do in 1001 Days`is about: achieving happiness. Yes, some tasks are hard. Yes, I won`t accomplish everything perfectly. Yes, this number is expensive, that one is too much effort, why oh why did I not anticipate how tired and busy I`d be in 2 years and why would I ever want to consume a chocolate covered insect!
It perhaps may seem cheesy and potentially vain (why, this whole blog could be perceived as a vanity project), but like I said before: I can`t live a life defined by the perceptions of others. And, thanks to the second number on my list, I`ve felt pretty damn joyful this past week. I`ve paid more attention to what people say. I`ve felt less awkward and self-conscious. I`m more patient in trying situations. I have more energy and am willing to laugh at myself more. My boss even called me perky at work. Which is an adjective normally not associated with my existence.
The fact that I now see this every morning has kept that smile courtesy of my honesty blitz on my face. And this is just the beginning. You`ll see they`re only 6 statements right now, but I can already think of a few I`ve learned, just from this week alone. Liiiike...how I`m a product of my perspective, not of my environment. As I continue to dive into my list (I literally mean dive; I have some really neat things coming up this week!), I`m hoping this will serve as a reminder to start the day off right.
If you`re reading this (or lurking, rather; I seem to be meeting a lot of lurkers), I hope you don`t feel cheated. Nothing concrete has been accomplished, but a whole heck of lot has been learned. As someone who more often enjoys the process more than the result, I know that these small realizations make all the difference in attaining my goals. And knowing that while facing the next 11 months is much more comforting.
Thanks for lurking!
<3,
m
