78. Have a cute boy serenade me. (Or, "Rock Out With Your Cop-Out!")

Because this very well could be perceived as a cop-out, especially after days of blog negligence. Such abandonment is particularly heinous since its still the month of NaBloPoMo. Oh blog, don't worry. I've just been busy planning my super exciting fundraiser. So do not fret, not-so-private online confidante. I'll never leave you. Never. I'm sorry if I ever gave you that impression. Baby, I can change!

Ahem. Anyways.

You might have to suspend disbelief for this one. Then again, if you know me well, suspending disbelief in kinda par for the course.

I've developed something of a celebrity crush. Actually, it's more so a celebrity crush in a specific moment.Before I explain, meet the lovely Darren Criss. He's the typical actor-singer-guy-with-a-guitar who just got his big break on Fox's "GLEE" and at this point the rest of my sentence just kinda trails off as his jpeg loads and I start to get distrasjfv3e!22

I'M BACK. Sorry.

Let's face it, he's cute. And mixed too. We could have super cute mixed babies together, thus leading to the continuation of "WAT RACE R U?" my favourite game played by strangers trying to know me.

But this is a blog dedicated to personal growth. While it's very easy to see why one would be grateful for something so easy on the eyes, what the heck does his prettiness have to do with knocking off a number on my list?

Well, it doesn't have anything to do with it, necessarily. It's a contributing factor.

You see, the other week, I landed on an episode of GLEE. Now, I have a love-hate relationship with this show. I was one of its biggest fans when it first came out. I went to an arts high school so I can definitely appreciate the idea of bursting out into choreographed song and dance. I enjoyed that this group was a team of underdogs and rebels. I loved the sharp characterizations and the witty dialogue, not to mention the fantastic song choices.

As the second season started up, it was clear that the show had ignored its own successful formula. Plot lines became too ridiculous, even for a musical episodic. Character development was ignored in favour for celebrity appearances. And simply put, the lovely teacher protagonist turned into a big douche.

But for one mere episode (or at least, one small plotline), the show seemed to remember what had made it work in the first place: heart. Let's face it, you got have a lot of passion to start singing in public in the first place.

Long synopsis short, one of the main characters is bullied for being gay. In the meantime, he's asked to do reconnaissance work and spy on a rival glee club from another school. With the help of a giant plot hole, he somehow manages to sneak into the school as a new student where he's met by the school's alpha-cool acapella leader (played by Darren Criss) who serenades him with the power of awesomeness. (And Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream", a pop-tart I wouldn't necessarily describe as awesome, but Criss's rendition of her work sure is.)

"Marisa, this is really great and all, but I find it really tragic that your blog now reads like unsnarky televisionwithoutpity snark."

Okay, okay, still with me? Ready to shelve that disbelief ?

There's something so incredibly beautiful that Darren Criss does in his rendition that makes my little heart swell. I'm not sure if its because I think it's a refreshing change of portrayed sincerity in a GLEE performance. I'm not sure if it's because of the context and the inspiration it gives to a character who so clearly is struggling to be accepted. I'm not sure if it's a calculated move on the showrunners to melt the hearts of Ice Queen bloggers everywhere by catapulting the star of A Harry Potter Musical into fame. Probably the last one. But anyways, and I say this with my nose crinkling out of bashfulness, when I watch this clip of Darren singing, I feel like he's singing to me.

Oops, the Disbelief Shelf just fell off the wall.

YEAH YEAH YEAH. I know what I typed. I know I just admitted on a public blog that I am so filled with joy from a melodramatic television show that I want to throw a dance party in my room. I recognize the hilarity of being so wonderfully flustered by both a character who does not exist and a moment that never happened. I get it. But there's something so sweet and endearing about his performance that makes me smile everytime I watch it. Also, it's such an incredibly catchy rendition of the song - it makes me want to dance it out! I'm grateful for my ineloquence here because what it really comes down to is that this song makes me happy.

Now, I'm not going to lie. When I wrote "78. Have a cute boy serenade me", I imagined convincing some Chris Pine lookalike to whip out a guitar at a coffee house and publicly serenade me with Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes". How I would convince him, I wasn't entirely clear. But..what would be the point? To feel somehow personally justified that someone publicly declared affection for me in song? Really, Marisa? That's a goal?

How about instead coming to terms with that goofy, romantic side of you that isn't afraid to admit that "Yes. I am goofy and romantic and that is okay!"? How about publicly acknowledging when things make you happy, even if you know that others may not be successful in suspending disbelief or judgement for your reasoning? Now, how's that for personal growth?

I'm posting the clip of Darren singing "Teenage Dream" because frankly, I like it, it makes me happy, and I think he's cute.

Man, I should've just let that sentence encapsulate this entire blog post. Oh well. Live and learn.

Oh, and this is my new ringtone so...I guess this really does complete my number!

<3,

m